Illegal Truth

Back in 2010, some friends and I made this short film for the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival.  We felt very strongly that this film contained a message the Lord wanted us to share with as many people as possible, and after much prayer, blood, sweat, and tears (no exaggeration folks!) we completed the project and were blessed to have it shown in San Antonio.

Now, after more prayer and more work, it's free for all to see on YouTube!  Please enjoy and consider.  :-)  I pray you won't be distracted by our meager efforts, but allow the Lord to speak to your heart through it.  

He Will Give You the Desires of Your Heart

All things work together for good to them that love God.

He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.

This week I found myself having to choose.  Choose between what I want, and what God wants.  Between taking things into my own hands and leaving them in His.  Oh, that's hard sometimes!  Who am I kidding....it's hard all the time! 

I like to have a plan for everything, all laid out nice and neat.  I like to have something definite to do.  I like to know exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and why I'm doing it.  I like knowing what to expect.  I like knowing exactly what will happen, when, and how.  It feels safe, secure, comfortable.  I don't like not knowing.  Which is really quite a challenge, since life is full of not knowing!

As the Lord continually nudges me outside of my little comfort bubble, I can look back and see how far He has brought me in this area - yippee, I'm more flexible and relaxed than I used to be!!!  :-D  And then I look forward at how far I have left to go - yeah, about that...could we just hit fast-forward, pretty please? 

Whenever I reach a place of assurance or conviction, I can be pretty certain that it will be tested.  Sometimes I'm ready, and sometimes, I forget to steel myself... 

A desire I think has been mastered sneaks up and takes me by surprise.  In a battle, the element of surprise is everything.  I'm walking along one day, minding my own business, when whammo!  It hits me, and sends me reeling.  Some attacks take longer to recover from than others, and many are a day to day, conscious and continual giving over of my desires, my plans, my dreams, to the One who gave them in the first place.

Surrender.  It sounds easy.  It sounds like giving up.  Waving the white flag and saying, 'I'm done, I give up, it's over.'  But shockingly, holding one's hand open, letting everything that comprises my life rest lightly on my open palm to either continue resting there, or be blown away by the winds of God's will, takes an incredible amount of work and will-power.  It goes against everything in me!  I want to hold on for dear life!  I don't like feeling out of control!  I don't like the free-fall of letting go and trusting that something I can't see will safely catch me!

But I think that's part of the point.  When I hang on, when I take control, and try to force things to go my way, I end up in a lonely, miserable place.  Because anything that is not done in God's way is unsatisfying. 

I constantly have to remind myself that if I knew everything that God knows, I would choose what He chooses for me.  Sometimes, He takes away something good because he wants to give me something better. 

Many of my desires are for good things.  But should I be aiming for something good?  Or, in surrender, allowing God to bring me His best in His time, and in His own way?  I think the answer is obvious.

I was mulling these things over today and realized that every desire that arises in me, is an opportunity to give it back to the Lord.  It is the opportunity to recognize Christ's Sovereign control over my life, and praise Him for it. 

At that moment I let go, it is then that I realize all my fear was for nothing, because this, this is freedom.  This surrender, this loss of control, this is where joy and peace and rest are found.  In the bliss of knowing all rests in His capable hands, and He never, ever fails.

Foiled plans, disappointed desires, hopes with no result in sight...  These are the Lord's proving grounds.  Do I love Him, or do I not?  How much am I willing to give up?  How much am I willing to let Him handle, instead of trying to orchestrate things myself?  Is what I think I want more to me than everything that Christ is and desires for me?

Oh, Heaven, help me.  Psalm 37:4-5 says:

"Delight yourself also in the LORD; and He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in Him; and He will bring it to pass." 

The word 'delight' used here means to be soft and pliable.  In other words, as I allow myself to be molded and shaped into the image of Christ, His desires will become mine.  He will fulfill my desires, because I will desire what He desires. 

And it will be worth every moment of struggle. 

The journey really is amazing.  It really is worth savoring each moment, praising Jesus for them, and for what He is accomplishing through them. 

Lord, help me to let go, and let You.

A Bittersweet Farewell... Or Is It?

Well, it has come to an end, as all things in this world must.  Oh, how I do love the little tastes of Heaven we're given even here!  And I'm so thankful that God brings us through seasons - so thankful we never stay in one place, that no matter how difficult things may be, they don't last forever.  Jesus faithfully brings us through them and into another season, closer to His side than before, and with a greater understanding of who He is.  And that is so worth any possible pain I could go through...

I love the restful periods of refreshment, the times where I feel He is just saying, "My dear child, I love you.  Know it.  Bask in it.  Be joyful.  Delight in Me."  That's where I am at the moment, and I'm thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.  :-) 

Being involved in this show ('The Importance of Being Earnest', in case you missed my previous posts here and here.) has been a wonderful combination of emotional rest and productive work.  I had rather forgotten how marvelous it is to make people laugh!  :-) 

'A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...'  Proverbs 17:22

This reminder has spilled over into other areas of my life, too, and that has been a blessing.  Cheerfulness is something that I'm called to no matter where I am, but certain times of life make it much easier...  :-)

At any rate, I have really relished the opportunity to love people.  It's challenging at times, and very easy at others.  It was so difficult to say good-bye yesterday...  I knew it would be, the end of a show is always hard for me, but this one hit me in ways I didn't expect.  It got me thinking that whenever you love, you give of yourself. And when you do that, it opens you up to that bittersweet pain of being connected to people.  Knowing that when you love people, you will be hurt at some point, does that mean we shouldn't love anyway?

Jesus loved, and look where it led Him!  And He never, ever regretted it...  Loving is always worth it, regardless.

'A friend loveth at all times...'  Proverbs 17:17

Mullings...

When is a baby not a baby? No, this isn't a joke with a snappy, one-line answer. It's a real question that's being debated in our world today. With Christmas just a day or two away, I've been thinking on the answer to this question in relation to the celebration of Jesus' birth.

It recently struck me that we tend to focus all on His birth. And while that's an amazing, incomprehensibly wonderful thing, I wonder that we forget where it all started. You see, Jesus didn't leave His throne in Heaven the night He was born. Now before you say 'But...', let me finish. :-) He didn't come to earth the night He was wrapped in swaddling clothes and placed in a manger, He came when He was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit.

He didn't just suddenly become a human being when He left the safety of His mother's womb, He was a human baby nine months before that wasn't He? Or wait, was He just a blob of tissue?

"You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.....My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them."

Psalm 139: 13,15-16

So when is a baby not a baby?

At week #1?

Or week 3 perhaps?

How about week 5?

Or week 7?

Week 8?

When exactly does this become a human baby? When does the soul enter the body and make it uniquely human?

On day 22, the heart begins to beat, pumping it's own blood, often a different type from the mother's.

By the end of week 3, the spinal column and nervous system are forming, as are the liver, kidneys and intestines.

By week 5, the eyes, hands, and legs are forming.

By week 8, all the organs are in place, bones begin to replace cartilage, fingerprints begin to form, and the baby can hear...

Week 12, the vocal cords are complete, as are the nerves and spinal cord.

Week 15, adult taste buds are in place.

Week 17, the baby begins to dream...

At week 20, the baby recognizes his mother's voice. Week 20 is also the earliest stage at which partial birth abortions are performed.

Month 5 and 6, the baby practices breathing. Oil and sweat glands are now fully functional.

Month 7 through 9, the baby's eyeteeth are now present, he can open and close his eyes, can use four of the five senses (hearing, taste, touch & vision), knows the difference between waking and sleeping, can relate to the moods of his mother, and his heart begins pumping 300 gallons of blood per day.

This is incredible to me!

And Jesus went through each of these stages of growth, just like each of us did. He left ultimate power and authority for ultimate vulnerability and helplessness. For us.

So at what age does a person not deserve a chance to live? Which of these little ones is it okay to 'dispose of'?

This one?

This one?

Maybe this one?

What about this one?

Let me leave you with this verse.

"Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."

Matthew 1:20-21

Any sins and all sins will be forgiven if we only ask Him, ask the One who came to earth as an embryo and grew into a man in order to extend grace and mercy to us.

May you know His unbounded love for you this Christmas and every day for the rest of your life.

Unanswerable Question?

So I've been studying Leviticus.  For all you thinkers out there who spend time in God's Word, I have a question, something I've been pondering today.  It may not be something very deep, but it's the kind of thing I wonder about as I study.  :-) 
I'm in chapter 16 where it's laying out the law for the Day of Atonement.  There were to be two goats brought forward for the sins of the nation of Israel: one goat to be sacrificed as the atonement, and one to be released into the wilderness as the scapegoat, representing the removal of sin.  Both pictured the atoning sacrifice of Christ and the placing on Him the guilt of all our sin, which He removed by His death and resurrection.

So my question is: why did God choose goats?  Jesus is always referred to as the Lamb, so wouldn't it have made more sense if the atonement had been a lamb?  Obviously, God knew what He was doing, but it just makes me curious.  And of course, this is the kind of thing commentators never address... :-P

Anyway, just something to tickle your curiosity and get those wheels turning a bit!  :-)

I can't wait to ask God these kinds of questions when I get to Heaven!