He Will Give You the Desires of Your Heart

All things work together for good to them that love God.

He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.

This week I found myself having to choose.  Choose between what I want, and what God wants.  Between taking things into my own hands and leaving them in His.  Oh, that's hard sometimes!  Who am I kidding....it's hard all the time! 

I like to have a plan for everything, all laid out nice and neat.  I like to have something definite to do.  I like to know exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and why I'm doing it.  I like knowing what to expect.  I like knowing exactly what will happen, when, and how.  It feels safe, secure, comfortable.  I don't like not knowing.  Which is really quite a challenge, since life is full of not knowing!

As the Lord continually nudges me outside of my little comfort bubble, I can look back and see how far He has brought me in this area - yippee, I'm more flexible and relaxed than I used to be!!!  :-D  And then I look forward at how far I have left to go - yeah, about that...could we just hit fast-forward, pretty please? 

Whenever I reach a place of assurance or conviction, I can be pretty certain that it will be tested.  Sometimes I'm ready, and sometimes, I forget to steel myself... 

A desire I think has been mastered sneaks up and takes me by surprise.  In a battle, the element of surprise is everything.  I'm walking along one day, minding my own business, when whammo!  It hits me, and sends me reeling.  Some attacks take longer to recover from than others, and many are a day to day, conscious and continual giving over of my desires, my plans, my dreams, to the One who gave them in the first place.

Surrender.  It sounds easy.  It sounds like giving up.  Waving the white flag and saying, 'I'm done, I give up, it's over.'  But shockingly, holding one's hand open, letting everything that comprises my life rest lightly on my open palm to either continue resting there, or be blown away by the winds of God's will, takes an incredible amount of work and will-power.  It goes against everything in me!  I want to hold on for dear life!  I don't like feeling out of control!  I don't like the free-fall of letting go and trusting that something I can't see will safely catch me!

But I think that's part of the point.  When I hang on, when I take control, and try to force things to go my way, I end up in a lonely, miserable place.  Because anything that is not done in God's way is unsatisfying. 

I constantly have to remind myself that if I knew everything that God knows, I would choose what He chooses for me.  Sometimes, He takes away something good because he wants to give me something better. 

Many of my desires are for good things.  But should I be aiming for something good?  Or, in surrender, allowing God to bring me His best in His time, and in His own way?  I think the answer is obvious.

I was mulling these things over today and realized that every desire that arises in me, is an opportunity to give it back to the Lord.  It is the opportunity to recognize Christ's Sovereign control over my life, and praise Him for it. 

At that moment I let go, it is then that I realize all my fear was for nothing, because this, this is freedom.  This surrender, this loss of control, this is where joy and peace and rest are found.  In the bliss of knowing all rests in His capable hands, and He never, ever fails.

Foiled plans, disappointed desires, hopes with no result in sight...  These are the Lord's proving grounds.  Do I love Him, or do I not?  How much am I willing to give up?  How much am I willing to let Him handle, instead of trying to orchestrate things myself?  Is what I think I want more to me than everything that Christ is and desires for me?

Oh, Heaven, help me.  Psalm 37:4-5 says:

"Delight yourself also in the LORD; and He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in Him; and He will bring it to pass." 

The word 'delight' used here means to be soft and pliable.  In other words, as I allow myself to be molded and shaped into the image of Christ, His desires will become mine.  He will fulfill my desires, because I will desire what He desires. 

And it will be worth every moment of struggle. 

The journey really is amazing.  It really is worth savoring each moment, praising Jesus for them, and for what He is accomplishing through them. 

Lord, help me to let go, and let You.

The Karate Kid Kind of Life

The thought struck me as I was at work cleaning yesterday (wax on, wax off!), that life is much like 'The Karate Kid'. Now, for those of you in the younger generation who have not had the pleasure of being introduced to this film, I am sorry (for you). ;-) Go to your library and check it out.




So, as I was scrubbing, I thought about how, throughout the first part of the movie, Daniel was directed to do menial tasks when all he wanted was to be taught karate. Instead, he waxed cars, painted fences and finished decks, all the while impatiently wondering why he wasn't learning what he wanted to be learning!

What he didn't know was that Mr. Miyagi was orchestrating it all for his good. He could knew and understood things that Daniel couldn't. All the seemingly meaningless tasks he was assigned were part of his training. Bit by bit, these tasks exercised his muscles and trained his body to do things that would be necessary later on, he just didn't realize it. He didn't know that he was being trained! All of the long, hard days of labor were the best preparation for what he really wanted, but not knowing this, he resisted it. He whined, complained, and threatened to give up.

But then Daniel learned to trust his teacher. Still unaware of the big picture, or how this training thing worked, he submitted himself to the guidance of Mr. Miyagi and continued on under his instruction, even though he didn't understand the benefit. The result was that he came to be better at karate than he ever imagined he could be.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. :-) Too many times I find myself resisting what the Lord's trying to accomplish in my life because I don't understand where He's going with it. I think, "But Lord, I really, really want to be over there, doing that Big Thing! Why aren't You letting me? Why do You have me here doing this little, insignificant thing? Surely it's not as important. It's a waste of time!" And then there's the "Lord use me! Do whatever You desire, just not that... I want to do something meaningful! How come You've stuck me here?" And finally, "I give up! This isn't getting me anywhere! I'm not doing anybody any good here!"

But then I'm reminded to trust my Teacher. He sees what I can't. He knows what's ahead and He's preparing me for it. Not only is He using the mundane, everyday, seemingly insignificant things to minister to those around me now, but these things are building into my character, making me more like Him. Exercising my muscles, so to speak. I just have to submit myself to His guidance and follow His instructions even though I don't understand why I'm being asked to do them. I can't see where it's all going, what exactly I'm being prepared for, but I know it's so much better than what I want, so much more than I imagine. It will be worth the wait.

One thing that the Lord keeps reminding me lately is that I have to prove myself faithful in the 'little' things before I can be intrusted with the 'big' things. The journey is every bit as important as the destination. And the One who walks with us is patient, and gentle, and He has our best in mind. He worthy of trust. And He will most assuredly finish the good work He has begun in us.

So, before you know it, you'll be doing the Crane! :-)

Jonathan Update

Here's another update on Jonathan. God is working! Hallelujah!
http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2011/12/mighty-to-save.html

Please Pray!!!

Please, please take the time to pray for this young man! He's fifteen-years-old, lives in a Ukrainian orphanage, and desperately wants a family of his own! The problem is that on December 31st, he will turn sixteen. Normally, that would be an exciting birthday, but for him, this marks the day he will be turned out on his own with no chance of being adopted. It's the day he 'ages out' of the orphanage.

Please pray that God would move mountains to bring this boy into a loving home before it's too late! I have every confidence that God can do this, and what would show His power and might more than to rescue this one He loves so much, snatching him from a life of hardship and loneliness at the last second!

What I love is that this young man's name is....Jonathan! The name Jonathan means Yahweh has given, or gift of God. The Lord has brought Jonathan into this world for a purpose, he's a gift. I pray for a family both to give him the love and care he needs, and also benefit from this gift of God.

You can find out more about Jonathan here: http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2011/12/urgenturgenturgent.html.

Please pass on Jonathan's story! If you or anyone you know are interested in adopting him, you can contact Amy at waitingchildren@gmail.com.

Countdown!

It's almost here!!!  I spent the entire afternoon and most of the evening working on setting up my Etsy shop and unless horrible things happen, I'll be listing my first item tomorrow!  :-D  I've been working toward this for so long, it doesn't seem real.  I can't wait to see what the Lord will do with it!

I'll keep you posted!

Unanswerable Question?

So I've been studying Leviticus.  For all you thinkers out there who spend time in God's Word, I have a question, something I've been pondering today.  It may not be something very deep, but it's the kind of thing I wonder about as I study.  :-) 
I'm in chapter 16 where it's laying out the law for the Day of Atonement.  There were to be two goats brought forward for the sins of the nation of Israel: one goat to be sacrificed as the atonement, and one to be released into the wilderness as the scapegoat, representing the removal of sin.  Both pictured the atoning sacrifice of Christ and the placing on Him the guilt of all our sin, which He removed by His death and resurrection.

So my question is: why did God choose goats?  Jesus is always referred to as the Lamb, so wouldn't it have made more sense if the atonement had been a lamb?  Obviously, God knew what He was doing, but it just makes me curious.  And of course, this is the kind of thing commentators never address... :-P

Anyway, just something to tickle your curiosity and get those wheels turning a bit!  :-)

I can't wait to ask God these kinds of questions when I get to Heaven!

'To Kill a Mockingbird': The Learning Curve

I'm rather ashamed to admit that in the beginning I wasn't overly excited about this show...  I think that stemmed from not really knowing the story.  I mean, I knew what it was about, I'd seen the movie years ago (and I'm afraid I thought it rather boring at the time...), but there's a difference between knowing something in your head and knowing it in your heart.

When I was cast, I hoped that it would be a good learning experience, that I would be challenged and stretched as an actress, even though I've had this type of role before.  To be honest, originally, I didn't really want this role because on the surface it was so similar to other things I've done before and I much prefer to change things up.  But I chose to leave it in the Lord's hands and decided that if I were cast, I would accept the role, no matter what it was.  And of course, like so many times before, I got the part I would have preferred not to get...and like those previous times, I fell in love with it anyway and realized that it was God's orchestration.  And He knows what He's doing, Hallelujah! 

So as I started to study the script, I began to see that there was a lot more to this role, to this story, than I originally thought...a lot more.  Maybe it's just me, but as a general rule, I tend to shy away from things that everybody raves about, be it a book, a movie, a clothing style, whatever.  I mean, if everybody loves it, it can't be very original for me to love it, too!  (Can you tell I have a slightly independent spirit?)  So those 'popular' kinds things, I usually take with a grain of salt and a lot of skepticism.

And then I read the book.  Oh, boy.  I'm a firm believer in always reading the book in preparation for a literature-based show, but I actually toyed with the idea of keeping the script as my only source-material this time!  That would have been a mistake.  What an amazing piece of literature. 

A lot of people seem to take it merely as a civil-rights piece, focused solely on race.  But if that's where we stop in our assessment of it, we are missing the whole point!  It's not about black and white, it's about people period.  It's about looking past what we see on the outside of a person, not just skin color, but age, personality, social standing, anything that makes another person in any way different from ourselves.  We humans always seem to quickly pick up on the things that make people different, and by nature we tend to treat them as less than ourselves.

The race issue has always been...well, black and white to me.  I mean, isn't it obvious how wrong it is to treat anyone in a certain way based on the color of their skin??  We're all human beings, we all descended from Adam, created by the same Creator who loves us all equally.  So reading a book that was just going to tell me what I knew already wasn't particularly motivating at first, but I soon began to realize how deep it really went and I could see the same lesson being played out at every turn.  And that excited me!

There are a lot books, stories, etc. out there that people rave about as being so meaningful, but when I read them and compare them to Scripture, they just fall apart, devoid of depth.  I mistakenly thought this book might be one of those.  But I was wrong, it's powerful.  So powerful.  The way Atticus determines to treat people is everything Jesus tells us to do, and to 'see' it played out in true-to-life, semi-modern scenarios helps to make those Biblical lessons so clear and so simple.  It sheds new light on what we already know.

And so, by the end of the book, I finally knew the story, and I finally knew how really worthwhile this show is.  The last few rehearsals, it's really started coming from the gut for me, and I'm eagerly looking forward to presenting this amazing story to audiences for the next month.  I pray God will move in the hearts of all those who come to see the show, and that He'll continue to work in the hearts of our cast and crew.

Every person, I mean every single person, has value before God.  Every single person has a story, a reason for being the way they are, be it good or bad.  Our job is to treat each other with respect, with love, with understanding, with patience.  To look at things from their point of view.  Each person, no matter how unattractive in looks or attitude, is still created in the image of God and because of that, if for no other reason, we must 'crawl inside their skin and walk around in it'.

And maybe, just maybe, someone else will do that for us, too.

Hello, Blog World!

Well, here I am.  Never really thought I'd be doing this, but I decided to give it a try!  My life has taken a sudden turn in a direction that I didn't see coming, and this feels like a good time to begin something new, to turn the next page and begin reading a new chapter. 

The Lord has a way of surprising us in life that always thrills me!  One day, you're walking along, minding your own business then WHAM!  When you least expect it, He whips you around a blind curve and suddenly, as you round the corner, a breathtaking vista overloads your senses and all you can do is stop and stare, amazed that He chose you to look out on this beautiful landscape, amazed at the way He has blessed you.

God is so good.  No matter how long, how difficult, how bewildering the journey, He is always walking with us, and the destination is incredible!