He raised his arms up to me to be held, so I picked him up, and in my arms he stayed. He became my responsibility, and I became his security, his safe place. He wanted only me. If I strayed too far away, he cried and cried, with big tears rolling down his sweet cheeks. So I held him.
It was windy, and he didn't like it, so I pulled his hood up and played peek-a-boo, making him giggle and show his perfect little teeth. Every time there was a gust of wind, he wanted his hood back up, and spent half the day peeking out around it.
As we walked, he began to grow sleepy. He nestled in close and laid his head on my shoulder, snuggling deeper into my arms. He felt safe, secure. For one day, I'm Mama to him. I meet his needs, soothe his fears, play with him, walk with him, show him new things - give him love. Love that has been given to me, I have the privilege of passing on. For one day, I'm his, and he's mine. It's my hand he grabs, my face he looks for when others crowd in.
As I held him, I talked to my Father. My heart said, "Let this be me and you. Let me take only your hand, look only for your face, rely only on your security and comfort, be at peace only when I'm in your arms." And I thought about the little one I carried. Thought about how much he needs his mama. His forever mama. So he won't ever have to search for a face that belongs to him, a face that won't leave him, arms that won't ever let him go - because he'll always be in them. And where these human arms may fail, His arms will always be there, as they have been all along.
I am thankful for the bit of Father's love he passed through me today, what it did to my heart, and what it does for 'my' little boy.
