Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done

I've been thinking a lot lately about being prepared. Not in a Boy Scouts sort of way :-), but being in the process of preparation for something. What I mean is going through life, learning certain things (rather unwittingly at times, I'm afraid), reaching a particular situation and realizing that everything you've gone through up to this point has prepared you for this circumstance.

These thoughts had their inception in my previous post, The Karate Kid Kind of Life. What began the wheels turning for this post was a wonderful evening I spent with a dear friend of mine a few weeks ago, when we went to see the Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King symphony. Though I've seen the film countless times before, this time around the relationship between Eowyn and Faramir struck me in a different way than it had before.

Tracing their journeys from the beginning, they both have an extremely hard time of it. Eowyn loses a cousin, who is like another brother to her; and Faramir, the younger of two brothers, is disregarded and treated like dirt by his father.


They are both starved for love, for appreciation, for something meaningful to do. Some reason for living, something that makes them feel needed. I think many of us go through periods like this, in one way or another. We know that God is in control and has a purpose for the world, we know that He loves us, but sometimes it so hard to see what His specific purpose for our life is. We look around at people who seem to have it all together, who know what they're doing and why they're doing it, and wonder, 'what am I supposed to do? Why am I here?'

Often, we look for the answer in all the wrong places. And sometimes, we think we know what we're supposed to do and start down that path, only to find that it's not the Lord's will after all, or not His will right now. But I want it to be right now! I feel useless wandering the desert like this!

In the story, Eowyn thinks she has found the right man to lead and care for her, to give her that love and purpose she so desperately longs for.....only to find that he is not the right man, nor is it the right time. This breaks her heart, and feelings of hopelessness overwhelm her.

I know some of you can relate. As a single woman whos only desire from childhood has been to be a wife and mother, it is very hard to watch the years roll by without this happening. I know it's a good desire that the Lord has placed in me, therefore, it has a purpose and He will use it for His glory. Most likely, that purpose is, and will be, far different from what I imagine. There are many good desires like this that God places in our hearts, and yet, doesn't seem to be doing anything about it... And so we wander, step by step through the desert feeling as though our time is being wasted.

Faramir finds himself riding into a hopeless battle at the bidding of his father, who doesn't seem to care whether his son lives or dies. He's the only rider to return, wounded and near death.

He winds up in the Houses of Healing, where we'll leave him, for now.

Eowyn rides into battle and faces her greatest challenge. Driven by love for her uncle, she confronts fear head-on and her courage is tested more than ever before.

Though this challenge is overcome, her heart is broken once more when her uncle dies...

She reaches the end of herself. There's nothing more that she can do.

Broken in body and spirit, she winds up in the Houses of Healing... :-)

Dependant on someone else for her healing. It seems miserable, doesn't it? To go through all that pain and difficulty. To struggle with fear and anger and grief and doubt. To feel cut adrift. But there's a purpose in it all! Every step of the journey has been carefully planned by the Creator. Nothing comes across our path without His permission.

There's a purpose for the desert...

...to prepare us for what's ahead.

Neither Faramir, nor Eowyn dreamed of this happening. Neither of them knew or planned to find each other at the end of road they were on. They would not have been ready without first travelling the hard path, experiencing the difficulty, the sorrow, the challenges they faced along the way. Every circumstance they went through was preparing them for each other.

The desert is necessary! In the words of Calvin's dad (I love the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip...:-): it builds character! We have to be broken before we can be remade.

The process is painful, but if we desire God's best, there's no getting around it.

I know I often look around and see those who go after their desires in the world's way, and they seem to get what they want! And I can't help but wonder why the Lord has given them their desires, but not me... Lord, I'm trying to do this Your way, giving this up to You, so why aren't You doing something?

Then it strikes me. Yes, many seem to get what they wanted, but did they get His best? What would have happened if they had surrendered their will to His? What more would He have done for them? What greater thing would He have done in them if they had only let Him? And I determine not to give in to envy, not to give in to doing it my way. I want His best! I don't want to settle for what I want! What He wants for me is soooo much more than I could ever imagine!

This reminds me of another movie, 'Real Steel'. I don't necessarily recommend this film, it's not the greatest. But the final scene was quite interesting. It's the final match between two boxing robots (bear with me here...), the underdog owned by a little boy and his dad. At the end, the larger robot is pummeling the smaller robot, whom the dad is controlling. And he allows it to happen, he waits...

The little boy begs and begs for his dad to fight back! He doesn't want to lose! He's desperate for his dad to do something! But his father bides his time...

At precisely the right moment, he swings, and his opponent is defeated. Often, I feel like that little kid, begging God to do something!!! But He waits...and makes me wait... Because His timing is perfect. He sees what I can't see, knows what I don't know. And loves me more than I could ever understand.

Choosing to do it God's way is HARD. There are times I want to throw in the towel. But I can't give up, because this is the right thing to do, and regardless of what does or doesn't happen, it's so worth it!

"Not my will, but Thine, be done." Luke 22:42

"...for they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me." Isaiah 49:23