Thoughts...

Do you ever wonder what God's up to? Why He seems so silent sometimes? I get the feeling that it's kind of the calm before the storm, that He's getting ready to do something big! But it's so hard to wait for. Waiting, watching, wondering...

That's where trust comes in. I know He's faithful, I know He's trustworthy, I know know He'll do what is best for me and what will most glorify His Name, I know He knows infinitely more than I do and will do so much more than I could ever ask or think of. My mind knows. My heart, on the other hand...

I've seen my Saviour do great things. I've watched Him care for me, preserve my life, provide for my every need, even many of my unnecessary wants. And yet, I find myself doubting that He'll do what I so hope for. I know that saving me in the first place was more than He ever needed to do for me. I don't deserve it, I never have, I never will. If that were all that He ever did for me, it would be way more than enough.

I know His calling on my life, but it seems so impossible. I know my God is the God of the impossible. Humanly speaking, the things he has guided my heart towards could never actually happen. I know He can do it, but it's not happening. I don't see Him doing anything.

And that brings me back around to trust. If He has given me a mission, He will fulfill it in His own time. And I'll just have to learn some patience! :-) Just because I can't see Him working doesn't mean He isn't.

My heart whispers doubts...."What if you were wrong? What if He really didn't say that? What if you made it up because it's something you want? What if it's yet another in a long line of hopes and dreams that never came true? What about all those people who are just waiting to say 'I told you so'? It's not possible...God won't do it, He doesn't have to and He won't..."

But I have to keep coming back to what I know. What the Scripture says about my God. He works all things together for good, and in the end, if I knew what He knows, I would choose His way over mine. My task is to obey. Just obey what He asks of me one step at a time, and His perfect will will be done. His Name will be glorified and vindicated. That's what matters. And He is the one who knows best how His Name is to be glorified, I just have to get out of the way and let Him do it.