Illegal Truth

Back in 2010, some friends and I made this short film for the San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival.  We felt very strongly that this film contained a message the Lord wanted us to share with as many people as possible, and after much prayer, blood, sweat, and tears (no exaggeration folks!) we completed the project and were blessed to have it shown in San Antonio.

Now, after more prayer and more work, it's free for all to see on YouTube!  Please enjoy and consider.  :-)  I pray you won't be distracted by our meager efforts, but allow the Lord to speak to your heart through it.  

He Places the Fatherless in Families

I was catching up on one of my favorite blogs tonight, and came across this post.  Another young orphan out there is in need of your prayer!  Will you join me in praying that a loving family will step up for Chad?

He will turn 16 in eight months, at which point he'll age out of the system and become unadoptable.  :-(  A complete post about him can be found here: http://1blessing2another.blogspot.com/2012/08/chad.html 

The Eloquence of Faithfulness

I've been devoting some time lately to the study and contemplation on the reasons for the American Civil War.  While that could be a fascinating discussion, what I want to share is something else that I came across while watching a documentary on the subject.

It's a letter written by a soldier to his wife before entering a battle, from which he had no assurance of return.  What struck me most about this letter is how much he loved her, his steadfast spirit, and his trust that God's will would be done. 

I wish we still communicated this way.  It is something beautiful.  Something so much more meaningful, more thoughtful, more careful than our words often are now...  There is something wonderful about a real, handwritten letter. 

July the 14th, 1861

Washington DC

My very dear Sarah,

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow.  Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me.  Not my will, but thine O God, be done.  If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready.  I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter.  I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution.  And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one.  A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long.  And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us.  I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed.  If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you.  How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been!  How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm.  But I cannot.  I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.

But, O Sarah!  If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care.  Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood.  Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters.  Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them.  O Sarah, I wait for you there!  Come to me, and lead thither my children.

Sullivan

Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later in the first Battle of Bull Run.  His wife of nearly six years, never married again.  She lived to be 80 years old, and was buried next to Sullivan when she died in 1917.

I wonder, has our character changed?  Is that why we don't communicate like this?  Is that why so few love like this?  I know brokenness and sin have existed since the fall, and there is nothing new under the sun.  But I wonder...have we become too caught up in the unimportant?  Too rushed?  Too absorbed in things that aren't lasting?  Are we in a hurry, but not really getting anywhere worth going?

I'm speaking to myself when I say that I think perhaps we need to slow down...learn to savor the people God has placed in our way.  Get outside of our little self-absorbed worlds, open our hearts, and love.  Love people.  Those souls we come in contact with every day are what will last in this world, that's where our investment should be.  

Maybe we should take time today to write a letter....

He Will Give You the Desires of Your Heart

All things work together for good to them that love God.

He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think.

This week I found myself having to choose.  Choose between what I want, and what God wants.  Between taking things into my own hands and leaving them in His.  Oh, that's hard sometimes!  Who am I kidding....it's hard all the time! 

I like to have a plan for everything, all laid out nice and neat.  I like to have something definite to do.  I like to know exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and why I'm doing it.  I like knowing what to expect.  I like knowing exactly what will happen, when, and how.  It feels safe, secure, comfortable.  I don't like not knowing.  Which is really quite a challenge, since life is full of not knowing!

As the Lord continually nudges me outside of my little comfort bubble, I can look back and see how far He has brought me in this area - yippee, I'm more flexible and relaxed than I used to be!!!  :-D  And then I look forward at how far I have left to go - yeah, about that...could we just hit fast-forward, pretty please? 

Whenever I reach a place of assurance or conviction, I can be pretty certain that it will be tested.  Sometimes I'm ready, and sometimes, I forget to steel myself... 

A desire I think has been mastered sneaks up and takes me by surprise.  In a battle, the element of surprise is everything.  I'm walking along one day, minding my own business, when whammo!  It hits me, and sends me reeling.  Some attacks take longer to recover from than others, and many are a day to day, conscious and continual giving over of my desires, my plans, my dreams, to the One who gave them in the first place.

Surrender.  It sounds easy.  It sounds like giving up.  Waving the white flag and saying, 'I'm done, I give up, it's over.'  But shockingly, holding one's hand open, letting everything that comprises my life rest lightly on my open palm to either continue resting there, or be blown away by the winds of God's will, takes an incredible amount of work and will-power.  It goes against everything in me!  I want to hold on for dear life!  I don't like feeling out of control!  I don't like the free-fall of letting go and trusting that something I can't see will safely catch me!

But I think that's part of the point.  When I hang on, when I take control, and try to force things to go my way, I end up in a lonely, miserable place.  Because anything that is not done in God's way is unsatisfying. 

I constantly have to remind myself that if I knew everything that God knows, I would choose what He chooses for me.  Sometimes, He takes away something good because he wants to give me something better. 

Many of my desires are for good things.  But should I be aiming for something good?  Or, in surrender, allowing God to bring me His best in His time, and in His own way?  I think the answer is obvious.

I was mulling these things over today and realized that every desire that arises in me, is an opportunity to give it back to the Lord.  It is the opportunity to recognize Christ's Sovereign control over my life, and praise Him for it. 

At that moment I let go, it is then that I realize all my fear was for nothing, because this, this is freedom.  This surrender, this loss of control, this is where joy and peace and rest are found.  In the bliss of knowing all rests in His capable hands, and He never, ever fails.

Foiled plans, disappointed desires, hopes with no result in sight...  These are the Lord's proving grounds.  Do I love Him, or do I not?  How much am I willing to give up?  How much am I willing to let Him handle, instead of trying to orchestrate things myself?  Is what I think I want more to me than everything that Christ is and desires for me?

Oh, Heaven, help me.  Psalm 37:4-5 says:

"Delight yourself also in the LORD; and He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in Him; and He will bring it to pass." 

The word 'delight' used here means to be soft and pliable.  In other words, as I allow myself to be molded and shaped into the image of Christ, His desires will become mine.  He will fulfill my desires, because I will desire what He desires. 

And it will be worth every moment of struggle. 

The journey really is amazing.  It really is worth savoring each moment, praising Jesus for them, and for what He is accomplishing through them. 

Lord, help me to let go, and let You.

One Less Orphan

Do you remember reading about Jonathan, an orphan in Ukraine who was just about to age out of the system and become 'unadoptable'?  I blogged about him here and here. 
Well, the fun and incredibly awesome thing is that he's home with his very own family now!!!!  :-D  Praise the Lord, there is one less orphan in the world and one more child who has made it home!

You can follow his journey on his family's (yay!) blog here:  http://1blessing2another.blogspot.com/

Beauty

I'm reading a book right now called 'The Lost Art of True Beauty' written by Leslie Ludy.  I've only reached the second chapter, but a quote a few pages in captured my attention.  It reads:

'They say there is a young lady in New Haven who is beloved of that Great Being who made and rules the world.  They say that He fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything except to meditate on Him. 

If you present all the world to her, with the riches of its treasures, she disregards it.  She is unmindful of any pain or affliction.  She has a singular purity in her affections. 

You could not persuade her to compromise her true Love even if you would give her all the world.  She possesses a wonderful sweetness, calmness, and kindness to those around her.  She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly. 

She seems to be always full of joy and pleasure, and no one knows exactly why.  She loves to be alone, walking in the fields and groves, and seems to have Someone invisible always conversing with her.'

~ Written about Sarah Edwards, by her future husband, Jonathan Edwards.

Oh, let us aspire to this, fellow sisters in Christ!  To be completely and utterly His...to live always in sweet fellowship with Him, so that everything we do is the outpouring of our love for Him, the window through which the world sees who our Jesus truly is.

A Bittersweet Farewell... Or Is It?

Well, it has come to an end, as all things in this world must.  Oh, how I do love the little tastes of Heaven we're given even here!  And I'm so thankful that God brings us through seasons - so thankful we never stay in one place, that no matter how difficult things may be, they don't last forever.  Jesus faithfully brings us through them and into another season, closer to His side than before, and with a greater understanding of who He is.  And that is so worth any possible pain I could go through...

I love the restful periods of refreshment, the times where I feel He is just saying, "My dear child, I love you.  Know it.  Bask in it.  Be joyful.  Delight in Me."  That's where I am at the moment, and I'm thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.  :-) 

Being involved in this show ('The Importance of Being Earnest', in case you missed my previous posts here and here.) has been a wonderful combination of emotional rest and productive work.  I had rather forgotten how marvelous it is to make people laugh!  :-) 

'A merry heart doeth good like a medicine...'  Proverbs 17:22

This reminder has spilled over into other areas of my life, too, and that has been a blessing.  Cheerfulness is something that I'm called to no matter where I am, but certain times of life make it much easier...  :-)

At any rate, I have really relished the opportunity to love people.  It's challenging at times, and very easy at others.  It was so difficult to say good-bye yesterday...  I knew it would be, the end of a show is always hard for me, but this one hit me in ways I didn't expect.  It got me thinking that whenever you love, you give of yourself. And when you do that, it opens you up to that bittersweet pain of being connected to people.  Knowing that when you love people, you will be hurt at some point, does that mean we shouldn't love anyway?

Jesus loved, and look where it led Him!  And He never, ever regretted it...  Loving is always worth it, regardless.

'A friend loveth at all times...'  Proverbs 17:17

The Happy Months Fly By...

Well, we're on the last week of performances for 'The Importance of Being Earnest'!  I can't believe these four weeks have gone by so quickly!  It's been a wonderful journey to make with a wonderful cast and crew of people, I'm sure going to miss it all. 

You spend six weeks rehearsing and then a month performing, it becomes a welcome part of one's life - the people become part of your life.  Like family, you didn't choose them, but you love them anyway.  :-)  People.  You love them because they're there.  If they're there, God has placed them there, placed them in your way, in your life for a reason.  And so you love.  Because He loves. 

A Mother's Love

Motherhood

by Agnes Lee

Mary, the Christ long slain, passed silently,
Following the children joyously astir
Under the cedrus and the olive tree,
Pausing to let their laughter float to her.
Each voice an echo of a voice more dear,
She saw a little Christ in every face.

Then came another woman gliding near
To watch the tender life which filled the place.
And Mary sought the woman's hand, and spoke:
"I know thee not, yet know thy memory tossed
With all a thousand dreams their eyes evoke
Who bring thee a child beloved and lost.

"I, too, have rocked my little One.
And He was fair,
Oh, fairer than the fairest sun,
And like its rays through amber spun
His sun-bright hair!
Still I can see it shine and shine."
"Even so," the woman said, "was mine."

"His ways were ever darling ways" -
And Mary smiled -
"So soft and clinging! Glad relays
Of love were all His precious days.
My little child!
My infinite star! My music fled!"
"Even so was mine," the woman said.

And Mary whispered: "Tell me, thou,
Of thine." And she:
"Oh, mine was rosy as a bough
Blooming with roses, sent, somehow,
To bloom for me.

His balmy fingers left a thrill
Deep in my breast that warms me still."
Then gazed she down some wilder, darker hour,
And said - when Mary questioned, knowing not,
"Who art thou, mother of so sweet a flower?" -
"I am the mother of Iscariot."

Jesus, Hold Me Now

This is another song that has ministered to my heart this week. It's worth a listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5oJPfTofxo

Jesus, Hold Me Now

by Casting Crowns

Living on my own, thinking of myself

Castles in the sand, temporary wealth

Now the walls are falling down

Now the storms are closing in

And here I am again

Jesus, hold me now

I need to feel You in this place

To know You're by my side

And hear Your voice tonight

Jesus, hold me now

I long for Your embrace

I'm beat and broken down

I can't find my way out

Jesus, hold me now

Curse this morning sun

Drags me into one more day

Of reaping what I've sown

Living with my shame

So welcome to my world

And the life that I have made

One day you're a prince

And the next day you a slave

Lord, I just looked up today

And realized how far away I am

From where You are

And I don't know what else to pray

Broken at Your feet I lay

The life I've torn apart

Jesus, hold me now

I feel You in this place

I know You're by my side

I hear Your voice tonight

Jesus, hold me now

Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done

I've been thinking a lot lately about being prepared. Not in a Boy Scouts sort of way :-), but being in the process of preparation for something. What I mean is going through life, learning certain things (rather unwittingly at times, I'm afraid), reaching a particular situation and realizing that everything you've gone through up to this point has prepared you for this circumstance.

These thoughts had their inception in my previous post, The Karate Kid Kind of Life. What began the wheels turning for this post was a wonderful evening I spent with a dear friend of mine a few weeks ago, when we went to see the Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King symphony. Though I've seen the film countless times before, this time around the relationship between Eowyn and Faramir struck me in a different way than it had before.

Tracing their journeys from the beginning, they both have an extremely hard time of it. Eowyn loses a cousin, who is like another brother to her; and Faramir, the younger of two brothers, is disregarded and treated like dirt by his father.


They are both starved for love, for appreciation, for something meaningful to do. Some reason for living, something that makes them feel needed. I think many of us go through periods like this, in one way or another. We know that God is in control and has a purpose for the world, we know that He loves us, but sometimes it so hard to see what His specific purpose for our life is. We look around at people who seem to have it all together, who know what they're doing and why they're doing it, and wonder, 'what am I supposed to do? Why am I here?'

Often, we look for the answer in all the wrong places. And sometimes, we think we know what we're supposed to do and start down that path, only to find that it's not the Lord's will after all, or not His will right now. But I want it to be right now! I feel useless wandering the desert like this!

In the story, Eowyn thinks she has found the right man to lead and care for her, to give her that love and purpose she so desperately longs for.....only to find that he is not the right man, nor is it the right time. This breaks her heart, and feelings of hopelessness overwhelm her.

I know some of you can relate. As a single woman whos only desire from childhood has been to be a wife and mother, it is very hard to watch the years roll by without this happening. I know it's a good desire that the Lord has placed in me, therefore, it has a purpose and He will use it for His glory. Most likely, that purpose is, and will be, far different from what I imagine. There are many good desires like this that God places in our hearts, and yet, doesn't seem to be doing anything about it... And so we wander, step by step through the desert feeling as though our time is being wasted.

Faramir finds himself riding into a hopeless battle at the bidding of his father, who doesn't seem to care whether his son lives or dies. He's the only rider to return, wounded and near death.

He winds up in the Houses of Healing, where we'll leave him, for now.

Eowyn rides into battle and faces her greatest challenge. Driven by love for her uncle, she confronts fear head-on and her courage is tested more than ever before.

Though this challenge is overcome, her heart is broken once more when her uncle dies...

She reaches the end of herself. There's nothing more that she can do.

Broken in body and spirit, she winds up in the Houses of Healing... :-)

Dependant on someone else for her healing. It seems miserable, doesn't it? To go through all that pain and difficulty. To struggle with fear and anger and grief and doubt. To feel cut adrift. But there's a purpose in it all! Every step of the journey has been carefully planned by the Creator. Nothing comes across our path without His permission.

There's a purpose for the desert...

...to prepare us for what's ahead.

Neither Faramir, nor Eowyn dreamed of this happening. Neither of them knew or planned to find each other at the end of road they were on. They would not have been ready without first travelling the hard path, experiencing the difficulty, the sorrow, the challenges they faced along the way. Every circumstance they went through was preparing them for each other.

The desert is necessary! In the words of Calvin's dad (I love the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip...:-): it builds character! We have to be broken before we can be remade.

The process is painful, but if we desire God's best, there's no getting around it.

I know I often look around and see those who go after their desires in the world's way, and they seem to get what they want! And I can't help but wonder why the Lord has given them their desires, but not me... Lord, I'm trying to do this Your way, giving this up to You, so why aren't You doing something?

Then it strikes me. Yes, many seem to get what they wanted, but did they get His best? What would have happened if they had surrendered their will to His? What more would He have done for them? What greater thing would He have done in them if they had only let Him? And I determine not to give in to envy, not to give in to doing it my way. I want His best! I don't want to settle for what I want! What He wants for me is soooo much more than I could ever imagine!

This reminds me of another movie, 'Real Steel'. I don't necessarily recommend this film, it's not the greatest. But the final scene was quite interesting. It's the final match between two boxing robots (bear with me here...), the underdog owned by a little boy and his dad. At the end, the larger robot is pummeling the smaller robot, whom the dad is controlling. And he allows it to happen, he waits...

The little boy begs and begs for his dad to fight back! He doesn't want to lose! He's desperate for his dad to do something! But his father bides his time...

At precisely the right moment, he swings, and his opponent is defeated. Often, I feel like that little kid, begging God to do something!!! But He waits...and makes me wait... Because His timing is perfect. He sees what I can't see, knows what I don't know. And loves me more than I could ever understand.

Choosing to do it God's way is HARD. There are times I want to throw in the towel. But I can't give up, because this is the right thing to do, and regardless of what does or doesn't happen, it's so worth it!

"Not my will, but Thine, be done." Luke 22:42

"...for they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me." Isaiah 49:23

Running to You

This song ministered to my heart tonight, so I thought I'd share it with you. Here's a link to the song, if you'd like to listen to it:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2MCbqGBQEI.

Running to You
by the Newsboys

Somebody told me about a place
Oh I can see it
But I've got to change my ways
Day after day it’s the same old thing
I keep repeating, the reason I stay this way
I know what I have to do
Get back to what I know is true

When everything is broken,
There’s a door wide open
You’ll find me running through
More than just emotion
My broken heart has chosen,
Jesus I’m running to You
I’m running to You

I'm running, running to You
I'm running, running to You

I can see the tear on your face
You feel defeated
Wondering what are you living for
Selfish dreams left you time and time
Empty-handed
There’s got to be something more
You know what you have to do
Get back to Who you know is true

You're the only One
Who can fix what I've become
Oh God, I believe in your love

When everything is broken,
There’s a door wide open
You’ll find me running to You
More than just emotion
My broken heart has chosen,
Jesus I’m running to You

Dethrone the King

My mom came across this quote some time ago, and I made a copy, which has been hanging on my wall for a few years now. It is such a challenging and convicting reminder, I thought I'd share it with you. Oh, how far short I fall!

Dethrone the King

Dying to Self

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting or hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ -- that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded or your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even to defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence -- that is dying to self.

When you lovingly, patiently bear any disorder and irregularity, any impunctuality or any annoyance - when you come face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility - and endure it as Jesus endured it --that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God -- that is dying to self.

When you never refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to go unknown -- that is dying to self.

When you can see your brother or sister have his or her needs met and can honestly rejoice in spirit and can feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in more desperate circumstances -- that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart -- that is dying to self.

by Bill Britton

Let the Show Begin!

So I had an audition and a callback last week, and found out that I've been cast as Gwendolen in 'The Importance of Being Earnest'! :-D

I'm super excited, this is a show I've been wanting to be part of for a long time now! I usually try to find shows/films that are meaningful and have a powerful message, but every once in a while it's good to do something that's just plain fun. :-) It's like dessert: you don't consume it as your only meal every day, but on occasion, it can be good for you...

We begin rehearsals this week and I'm soooo looking forward to it! Usually, the deep, meaningful shows are the most challenging, but this will stretch me in a different way, as I haven't done a whole lot of comedy in the past. Yay!

Plus, I'm convicted that no matter what you're doing, your ministry is to the people around you.

The Karate Kid Kind of Life

The thought struck me as I was at work cleaning yesterday (wax on, wax off!), that life is much like 'The Karate Kid'. Now, for those of you in the younger generation who have not had the pleasure of being introduced to this film, I am sorry (for you). ;-) Go to your library and check it out.




So, as I was scrubbing, I thought about how, throughout the first part of the movie, Daniel was directed to do menial tasks when all he wanted was to be taught karate. Instead, he waxed cars, painted fences and finished decks, all the while impatiently wondering why he wasn't learning what he wanted to be learning!

What he didn't know was that Mr. Miyagi was orchestrating it all for his good. He could knew and understood things that Daniel couldn't. All the seemingly meaningless tasks he was assigned were part of his training. Bit by bit, these tasks exercised his muscles and trained his body to do things that would be necessary later on, he just didn't realize it. He didn't know that he was being trained! All of the long, hard days of labor were the best preparation for what he really wanted, but not knowing this, he resisted it. He whined, complained, and threatened to give up.

But then Daniel learned to trust his teacher. Still unaware of the big picture, or how this training thing worked, he submitted himself to the guidance of Mr. Miyagi and continued on under his instruction, even though he didn't understand the benefit. The result was that he came to be better at karate than he ever imagined he could be.

I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. :-) Too many times I find myself resisting what the Lord's trying to accomplish in my life because I don't understand where He's going with it. I think, "But Lord, I really, really want to be over there, doing that Big Thing! Why aren't You letting me? Why do You have me here doing this little, insignificant thing? Surely it's not as important. It's a waste of time!" And then there's the "Lord use me! Do whatever You desire, just not that... I want to do something meaningful! How come You've stuck me here?" And finally, "I give up! This isn't getting me anywhere! I'm not doing anybody any good here!"

But then I'm reminded to trust my Teacher. He sees what I can't. He knows what's ahead and He's preparing me for it. Not only is He using the mundane, everyday, seemingly insignificant things to minister to those around me now, but these things are building into my character, making me more like Him. Exercising my muscles, so to speak. I just have to submit myself to His guidance and follow His instructions even though I don't understand why I'm being asked to do them. I can't see where it's all going, what exactly I'm being prepared for, but I know it's so much better than what I want, so much more than I imagine. It will be worth the wait.

One thing that the Lord keeps reminding me lately is that I have to prove myself faithful in the 'little' things before I can be intrusted with the 'big' things. The journey is every bit as important as the destination. And the One who walks with us is patient, and gentle, and He has our best in mind. He worthy of trust. And He will most assuredly finish the good work He has begun in us.

So, before you know it, you'll be doing the Crane! :-)

The Wounded

So I watched a documentary in the wee hours of the morning that was......heartbreaking, to say the least. It is called 'The Day My God Died'. That is what the Nepalise and Indian girls say of the first day they are placed in the brothel. Lured away from home or kidnapped outright, they are drugged and taken to the teeming red light district of a large city were they are forced to exist in circumstances too horrible to imagine. Many eventually die of the diseases they contract, or are killed for resisting this lifestyle.

The thing is, this is not merely some other country's problem. This doesn't just happen overseas, it doesn't just happen in third world countries. It happens here. At home. And not only are little girls and women smuggled in from other countries, our own neighbors are being victimised.

Out of all the trafficking cases reported this past year, 83% of the girls were US citizens. One of the largest draws for human trafficking is major sporting events. It's estimated that somewhere around 10,000 women were specifically brought in for the Super Bowl last year.

Despite efforts to stop it, up to 300,000 girls from age 11 to 17 are manipulated and lured into the industry every year. Around the world, 1.2 million children are trafficked yearly.

This staggers me. I can't imagine a life so horrible. I can't imagine the depths of depravity and greed and lust that would lead someone to harm other human beings in such a way. My initial reaction is one of fury towards the people who treat others with such contempt and unspeakable cruelty! My strong sense of justice kicks in and I want to punish them within an inch of their wretched lives!

But then I have to stop and think. The same heart that wounds is a heart that's wounded. The pimps and the johns and the madams are people, too. They once were innocent little babies. They were children. They've loved and laughed and cried the same as anyone else. Their hearts are in the same state mine had been, the same state in which mine would still be, if I had not been washed by the blood of Jesus, if I had not been justified and the work of sanctification begun in me.

The bullies and the slave masters are enslaved every bit as much as the sweet little girls and the broken women. They, too, deserve our pity, our compassion.

Sin will continue on in this world, atrocities will be committed every day until Jesus comes again, but we don't have to sit idly by and watch. Nor should we hunker down into our cozy little hermitage and block out the world. We may not always be able to physically do something about the things that are happening, but we can ALWAYS pray.

So would you pray with me? This week, whenever you see an ad for the Super Bowl, when you're planning your party, when you get together with your friends and family on Sunday to watch the game, whenever you are reminded, would you pray? Pray for those who are enslaved? Those who are trafficked? Those who are traffickers? Our God is mighty to save.

If you are willing to have your heart broken, and to gain insite into how to pray sepcifically for those in this trade, below you'll find a link to the documentary, 'The Day My God Died'. A word of caution: it is NOT easy to watch and it is NOT for young ones, so please exercise discernment in where and when to view this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV5W6F4L5i8&feature=fvw&oref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.watchfreemovies.ch%2Fwatch-movies%2F2003%2Fwatch-the-day-my-god-died-10571%2F

Be Still My Heart...

I saw this precious face on a blog about Chinese foster care today, and my heart just melted...

Oh, Lord, can You please hit fast-forward to the day I can bring one of Your sweet babies home?
Give me the strength to continue waiting.

'The Sword of Teneraz' by Elizabeth Marie Kauffman

Recently, I picked up a book that a friend of mine has written, entitled 'The Sword of Teneraz'. My friend, Elizabeth Kauffman, published it last year, and I had been wanting to read it for some time, but with one thing and another, I didn't get around to cracking it open until last week. And I'm so glad I did! It's over 350 pages of pure adventure (insert blissful sigh here). I was in dire need of some wholesome distraction (I've been sick for the past week and half), so I picked it up and started reading...

At first, I thought it might be a little weird reading a book written by someone I know personally, I've never had that experience before! But after the first few pages, I stopped imagining her writing the book :-), and got lost in the story. Yay!

Without giving too much away, I will tell you that the story is a bit of an allegory that takes place in another world and another time (I love those kinds of stories!). It follows the adventures of three new-found friends as they escape from the clutches of an evil king, and travel the length of the country to find help and sanctuary with those who oppose him.

The book is full of battles and swordfights (woohoo!), fantastical creatures and suspenseful escapes. It's an intriguingly imaginitive world, complete with its own languages. One of the things I love best about it, though, is the spiritual depth. It shows people for who they are - weak, doubting, hurting, prideful, fearful, kind, courageous - and shares that the faults can be overcome, and the good builded upon and grown.

Another thing I appreciated about 'The Sword of Teneraz' is something that's rarely touched upon in books or movies, and that is a respect for life. We get so used to seeing and reading about people dying and being killed in battle, it kind of becomes old hat. We don't think about the fact that a unique life has just ended. A person. Even those on 'the other side', the 'bad guys', are lovingly created human beings. And taking the life of another person, even rightfully in war or self-defense, changes you. There's no going back. And it's not something to be proud of, not something to gloat over. It's a very serious thing.

In all of this, the characters are directed back to the fact that there is Someone bigger than they are. Someone in control of the world who cares for their well-being. Though they may not understand why they're being asked to do what they have been, they can trust that it will work out for good. And that is what the story is truly about.
The battle between good and evil is a great part of the story, but ultimately, it's about learning to trust the King. And that makes it well worth the read, in my book.

Below, you'll find a link to Elizabeth's book on Lulu.com:

And this is a link to Elizabeth's blog, where she posts updates on her books, among other interesting things. :-)

Oh, and guess what? "The Sword of Teneraz' is just the first book in a series! Yay! Elizabeth is currently writing the second book in The Chronicles of the Sword of the Kings, which will be called 'The Wolves of Langoor'. So stay tuned!

Artwork

I found some of the most beautiful Chinese watercolors yesterday! I have no idea who the artist is, as I can't read Chinese...yet. :-) But these paintings blew me away! I'll have to post some more later.

Enjoy!

Thoughts...

Do you ever wonder what God's up to? Why He seems so silent sometimes? I get the feeling that it's kind of the calm before the storm, that He's getting ready to do something big! But it's so hard to wait for. Waiting, watching, wondering...

That's where trust comes in. I know He's faithful, I know He's trustworthy, I know know He'll do what is best for me and what will most glorify His Name, I know He knows infinitely more than I do and will do so much more than I could ever ask or think of. My mind knows. My heart, on the other hand...

I've seen my Saviour do great things. I've watched Him care for me, preserve my life, provide for my every need, even many of my unnecessary wants. And yet, I find myself doubting that He'll do what I so hope for. I know that saving me in the first place was more than He ever needed to do for me. I don't deserve it, I never have, I never will. If that were all that He ever did for me, it would be way more than enough.

I know His calling on my life, but it seems so impossible. I know my God is the God of the impossible. Humanly speaking, the things he has guided my heart towards could never actually happen. I know He can do it, but it's not happening. I don't see Him doing anything.

And that brings me back around to trust. If He has given me a mission, He will fulfill it in His own time. And I'll just have to learn some patience! :-) Just because I can't see Him working doesn't mean He isn't.

My heart whispers doubts...."What if you were wrong? What if He really didn't say that? What if you made it up because it's something you want? What if it's yet another in a long line of hopes and dreams that never came true? What about all those people who are just waiting to say 'I told you so'? It's not possible...God won't do it, He doesn't have to and He won't..."

But I have to keep coming back to what I know. What the Scripture says about my God. He works all things together for good, and in the end, if I knew what He knows, I would choose His way over mine. My task is to obey. Just obey what He asks of me one step at a time, and His perfect will will be done. His Name will be glorified and vindicated. That's what matters. And He is the one who knows best how His Name is to be glorified, I just have to get out of the way and let Him do it.

Broken Hearts

This poor boy's time has run out...he looks so sad and lonely... :-(

When Kyle turns 14, he will no longer be eligible for adoption. I pray the Lord will protect him, make His presence known him and let him know he's not alone.

The treatment of these children breaks my heart. I can't imagine how it must feel to be neglected, unwanted, unloved, belonging to no one, bearing pain and a broken heart all alone...with no one to teach them the Truth. That they ARE loved, they ARE wanted, that they're NEVER alone, they have a Father.

Why don't we do something? What are we waiting for? I wonder how many orphans would be left in the world if every Christian took in just ONE of these lonely children?

Are we not called of the Lord to take care of the orphan? Are we obeying? Are we waiting for just the perfect time...some day...down the road...

Are we listening to His whisper, His command to love the fatherless? Or are we too busy, too comfortable, too focused on what we want, too....whatever?

I think we need to seriously consider and prayerfully pursue what the Lord may be calling us to do, consider that He may be trying to get our attention, grab our hearts, inspire us not to hoard the love He gives us, but give it away to someone who needs it. Someone who needs Him and is just waiting to be shown the way.